Captain's log #3395 - On conversation strategy

The following flow chart shows a series of choices that we all face in conversation starting with the most basic: whether to talk or listen. Let me know whether you find this useful. (Source www.businesslistening.com - yeah I know there is a website for everything).

	You talk		Do you focus?		Don't Say what comes to mind.
					Do Take a moment to structure what you are going to say. Decide how much detail to go into. If you are going to say a lot, it will help both you and your listener(s) to briefly summarise what you plan to say and list your sub-points first. If you aren't certain what structure works best, try clarifying before you start.
			Do you clarify?		Don't Use your best guess about what's important to them and what they already know. (But beware of rambling and being pedantic)
					Do Ask whether they want to hear what you want to say. (If someone starts looking uninterested or upset while you are talking, try clarifying.)
	You listen		Do you listen attentively?		Do Take steps to minimise distractions. Think and react, verbally and using body language, to help synchronize yourself with the person talking.
					Don't...
					...half listen, and think about or do something else at the same time, with the risk that you will offend them and/or miss part of what they are saying; or
					...ask to reschedule the conversation to a better time for listening.