Captain's log #3400 - You attract what you are

You want the best team working with and for you, but you are an untrained manager, light on leadership skills. The best talent will not be attracted to you or, if they do join you, they will not stay. Talent is attracted to a capable leader who wants to create a great team.

You attract not what you want, but what you are.

Captain's log #3400 - On fear

If you let negative input into your space, it's easy to be afraid of just about everything. Here are a few things the news media and others say to feed people's fears.

• The economy is slow to recover, so many people are still out of work. You need to worry about your job security; you might be next.
• About 50% of marriages end in divorce, so why bother getting married? The odds are that yours will end that same way.
• Re: the H₁N₁ flu virus, if you don't get the flu shot, you will get very sick. Some of you will die.
• Your teenage kids will get in with the wrong crowd and get involved in drugs or gangs.
• Travel on airplanes is dangerous because of terrorism.
• You might be shot in a shopping mall.
• You might lose all your retirement funds in a financial meltdown.
• You may have a heart attack or a stroke or get cancer because others in your family have had those conditions.

Those thoughts are all based on fear.

An acronym for FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real.

Many of you have heard the research that more than 98% of the things we worry about every day never happen. And, in the majority of cases, you have little or no influence on the 2% of events or situations that do occur.

This is not to say we never should be concerned about potential danger; we have an instinctive response to physical danger. I speak here of psychological fear or constant worry, which benefits no one―especially the worrier.

Purging Fear?

1.    To purge fear, we first must be aware of the things we constantly worry about. Take a moment to make a list of them.
2.    What is feeding your fears and worries? The news, family members, friends, your belief system? Pay attention to what you are letting into your mind. Make a commitment to cut your sources of negative input.
3.    I predict some of you actually fear getting over your fear because it has become a convenient excuse for you. If you stay in fear, you have a reason for failure or lack of success.
4.    Look at the list you created for question 1. Of all those fears, how many are likely to come to pass? As the research revealed, most of our fears (98%) won't happen. Being aware that most of what we worry about will not happen is an important step to letting go of our fears.
5.    FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.
6.    Replace your fear with faith and thoughts of success. Seek books, ezines, podcasts, friends, and other sources of input that help create and reinforce positive feelings.
7.    For some of you, the battle between fear and faith is spiritual. To overcome your fear, source what your faith teaches in this area.
8.    If you still need help to break free from fear, envision the exact opposite of each of your fears. Go somewhere quiet where you can be alone; relax and put a positive picture in your mind. For example, think of a having a successful and healthy relationship instead of a marriage breakdown or having an exciting new position instead of being without a job. Pay attention to your emotions. See how much better it feels to be in a positive state than in your worry mode.
9.    Always focus on what you want, not what you don't want. Make a list of what you want and concentrate on the list. 10.    Get started now on your Action Steps. Don't wait a week, a day, or even an hour!
11.    Purge your FEAR. Replace it with courage and confidence!

 

Captain's log #3399 - On Chasing Progress

This is what my mentor taught me many years ago:

Chaser: "When will this be done?"
Chased: "I don't know."

Chaser: "By when will you be able to tell me when this will be done?"

It's polite, but also sends the clear message that commitment to due dates is required.