Captain's log #3371 - On good ideas

Good ideas are not adopted automatically. They must be driven into practice with courageous patience.

Hyman Rickover US (Polish-born) admiral (1900 - 1986)

22/7

Captain's log #3365 - On "pretending to listen"

Apologies to all who I have bored with this over the years.

As per previous blog, let's face it, I am not a brilliant listener. So, you may ask, what am I tryng to do about it?

Many moons ago, when I had my first big management job, I got sent to an assessment centre. Somewhat reluctantly I went off to have my attitudes, values, and behaviours poked and probed and neatly summarised at the end of the day. One of the key findings was - hey buddy - you are a very bad listener. I stood accused of showing boredom and dis-interest, sending out many body language signals to my discussion partners when I was "finished with them", which was usually very early in the conversation!

The consultant then proceeded to ask me what a good listener actually does:

- focussing on the person (not get sidetracked by the laptop, anybody else walking past, the phone, etc)

- repeating back in his own words what the other has said, seeking clarification

- writing notes

- using affirmative gestures (nodding, open posture, tilting of head to signal interest

- summing up in the end what the discussion was about and what conlcusions have been reached

- agreeing next steps where appropriate

See - I did read the book! Then came the kicker - the consultant said: "From now on, Michael, seeing you know what a good listener does, I want you to pretend to be a good listener - that's all."

Somewhat puzzled and relieved I left the surgery to continue on my merry way. Guess what though. If you are pretending to be a good listener, you have to do all the things listed above and if you are doing all the things listed above, you are forced to listen. I mean how else can you repeat back what has been said, if you don't pay attention in the first place.

I also joke about this quite a lot, in the hope that, if any of you ever catches me out, when I am not doing it right, you will tell me (and you will forgive me).

Have a great week! 02/07

Captain's log #3365 - On "pretending to listen"

Apologies to all who I have bored with this over the years.

As per previous blog, let's face it, I am not a brilliant listener. So, you may ask, what am I tryng to do about it?

Many moons ago, when I had my first big management job, I got sent to an assessment centre. Somewhat reluctantly I went off to have my attitudes, values, and behaviours poked and probed and neatly summarised at the end of the day. One of the key findings was - hey buddy - you are a very bad listener. I stood accused of showing boredom and dis-interest, sending out many body language signals to my discussion partners when I was "finished with them", which was usually very early in the conversation!

The consultant then proceeded to ask me what a good listener actually does:

- focussing on the person (not get sidetracked by the laptop, anybody else walking past, the phone, etc)

- repeating back in his own words what the other has said, seeking clarification

- writing notes

- using affirmative gestures (nodding, open posture, tilting of head to signal interest

- summing up in the end what the discussion was about and what conlcusions have been reached

- agreeing next steps where appropriate

See - I did read the book! Then came the kicker - the consultant said: "From now on, Michael, seeing you know what a good listener does, I want you to pretend to be a good listener - that's all."

Somewhat puzzled and relieved I left the surgery to continue on my merry way. Guess what though. If you are pretending to be a good listener, you have to do all the things listed above and if you are doing all the things listed above, you are forced to listen. I mean how else can you repeat back what has been said, if you don't pay attention in the first place.

I also joke about this quite a lot, in the hope that, if any of you ever catches me out, when I am not doing it right, you will tell me (and you will forgive me).